Oscar Shmoscar

Underwhelmed. Blah. Torture. Oy.

Oh Anne. James. Really?

The show itself- booooooooooooooring. Oh and BAD. Who was the writer for these hosts? They will NOT be winning any Oscars any time soon. I mean, didn't Anne and James realize how bad the writing was? Stand up for yourselves man! So embarrassing. For shits and giggles, check out James Franco's Twitter. http://twitter.com/jamesfranco

The opening segment? Was already covering my eyes. Was so so bad. We were so uncomfortable.

James was for sho high as a kite and Anne, well wasn't Anne just so bubbly!? OMFG. Wanted to punch her lights out. They couldn't have been worsely matched (I know that's not a word. But it seems to fit). He was so obviously craving a couch and Taco Bell. Didn't he look so uncomfortable?? Totally contrary to his partner in crime. (And this was a crime). She was so over the top confident it was very very hard to watch. And I did like her before this.




A few examples that explain my hatred:














Personal moment! *squeak*!

























Aren't I just so grand?




















I mean, honestly.

























When Kirk Douglas came out and started talking, we cringed and teared up a bit. All I could focus on were his wobbly earlobes. But then we quickly realized that he was more charming, witty and more hilarious than A & J could ever possibly be. Who knew he'd be the star of the show? Props to Omar Sharif Jr. for contributing to the best part of the show.




















The fashion was quite good! I'd say 88% all around.

























My fave- Mila. Good girl. She did look a lil too shiny for my liking as she presented, but overall, she killed it. Kinda wish I could have asked Elie Saab to make this frock for me in white(ish) for my wedding dress.

























2nd fave:

























And 3rd:

























Scarjo- better but still not incredible! Hair?!




























Ya think red was a hot color?













I just want to know the last time Jennifer Lawrence ate. Someone please tell me. I'm going with 2009.


























Good girl Nat!

























Helena. Awesome.

























Pot. Lid. Amazeballz.


















Cate. Love you and your style. Feel like I should love this. I kinda do. A little. Maybe a bit too out there for the Oscars.

























No Nicole. No.

























Yes Halle. Yes.

























Kinda on the fence about Gwynnie. Think I like it. Sleek. Calvin Klein.

























This might have been the funniest moment for me. As usual, Helen Mirren rocked the fashion and I really do find Russel Brand hilarious. Not sure why his shtick doesn't annoy me yet.





















Gorgeous. Regal.

























Michelle Williams- anything is better than your Golden Globes insanity. This is very pretty. She did look stunning. Hair color is superb. Just quite similar to other gowns she's worn. But I suppose playing it safe is waaaaaaay better than a disaster.


























Venice Film Festival September 2010


























After parties! If you didn't see that movie, you should!!!!







Look at you Sandy lettin loose.
















Yep. Everyone gets vild at the after partay.










Now, I know you from Cougar Town. Why are you there? Seriously. Someone tell me. And sitting with and kissing up to (literally) Michelle Williams. Anyone? Dying to know. And why is she stuffing her face like she has no idea where her next meal is coming from? (Look at both hands)





































J-Hud looked incredible. Her boobies did make me a bit uncomfy.





















So, award season is over. Baruch Hashem. No time like the present to go see: Black Swan, Barney's Version, True Grit, 127 Hours, Winter's Bone and Salt. (Kidding about that last one.)

I just want to make sure that my disappointment in Anne and James is clear. They weren't just bad. They were horrrrrrrrendous. Both in their own ways. I was longing for Alec or Dave or Ellen or Jon or Billy. Kept hoping it was a joke and that they would swoop in and save poor A & J. Even hoped that poor Kirk would take over!

Guess not. If only there were more serious issues in the world these days to focus on.

Redefining Tradition

We aren't traditional so we knew we'd do something a bit wacky.

It was JR's idea and prolly a joke. But I ran with it.

Directly to my gal Lauren Bultz.

She called in her troops.

Mikey Reider, (of Easy M Productions) you rock my world.

The beginning of our bond. Mikey is drinking out of a 'Liana' mug.

We also gathered our troops. In November, about 30 of our nearest and dearest came over to film something that they thought, because that's what they were told, was a video to be shown at our wedding.

But we had different plans.

And with Lauren 'Funny Girl' Bultz's professional coaching and direction, cinematographer/sound/lighting man Josh Usheroff, and editor extraordinaire Mikey Reider, the dye was cast.

That is how we roll. I love you so much. Thank you SO much.


After many a bagel, lox and cream cheese, and 8 hours later, the footage was complete.

Then the real work began. The collaboration between Lauren and Mikey and Jeff and myself.

Mikey took 8 hours of footage and compressed it into 6 minutes. That my friends is incredible. And he did it brilliantly. Added perfect music and pictures. We had input, took some things out, added others, tried to make sure everyone was featured around the same amount.

And my mother. Oh Rozzie, how nervous you were. So untraditional, so weird, but so us. Thank you for your faith. I know you had your doubts but with Mikey and Lauren at the helm, I knew all along that we'd be OK.

And OK we are. We are thrilled! Love love love how it turned out.

Thank you Eric Berman for the gorgeous website!!!!!!!!!! U rule Rick Bro.

In case you aren't invited to our wedding, we sent out a beautiful formal invitation directing people to our website. And for those electronically challenged folk, we sent out a traditional invite. Actually, if you click on 'save the date' on the site, that's what we sent to the fogies :)

So, I must share. Because we love it and are so excited. If you are invited, don't forget to send your reply cards back! Stat!

www.jeffandliana.com

Post Secret Vday!

Happy Vday toute le monde! 8 weeks till my impending nuptials! Wahooooooooo!

Just making sure y'all didn't forget about Post Secret! Click HERE if you don't know what I'm talking about.

Some funny, some happy, and some heart wrenching!















xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxox

Super what?

Hosted our first Super Bowl partay! Good friends, good food, good game, good commercials and a very large HD television equals success, n'est ce pas?

So I bought food for 40 (we were 20). Whoopsies! We'll try to fix that for next year. Also was lucky enough to feed my guests some of the best Mac and gruyere and cheddar and fontina (fauncy Mac & Cheese for those of you who have no clue what I'm talkin about) and ceasar salad prepared by none other than infamous chef extraordinaire Danielle Garonce (www.daniellegaronce.com people. DO IT.)

As I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I was able to see some of the game but only a few of the commercials. Wanted GB to win (for financial reasons only, cuz I really couldn't give a sh*t) but then felt bad for Omar Epps- coach of the Steelers- when they lost. I'm funny like that. Always feel bad for the losers. Not gonna win the SB with so many turnovers Omar.

I mean, really?


A quick pause to discuss the half-time show. K, I'm just going to say it. And I'm virtually protecting my head as I do imagining tomatoes flying at it. I LIKED IT. As did the other people (ok, mostly ladies) who watched it with me. EB, you know you liked it too. I'm being defensive as the internets the following day were bashing the show hard core. We loved it! We were all bopping along, thinking it was awesome! Loved the BEPs! Fergie didn't even look as fugly in the face as she usually does! K, the Tron like get ups were a bit veerd and yes it did look like the Olympics (but soooooo much better!!!) but we were super entertained!!! When Slash popped up, I might have shed a lil tear! And then Usher! Anyhooo, we thought it was very cool.

X-tina effing up the national anthem is a whole other story.

Commercials.

SO many B-list celebs this year. Strange a bit. Richard Lewis, Timothy Hutton, Joan Rivers and Roseanne? Who else was thrilled to see her taken out by a massive log?

Totally grossed out by the Go Daddy ads. I mean, really? Do boobs really sell domain names, web hosting and everything in between? K, maybe.

The Volkswagen marketing peeps are obviously brilliant. The Darth Vader commercial was great. Saw it prior to the SB. This one was amazing too:



Budweiser. I mean, anything with an Almost Famous reference is gonna get me.



Bridgestone. Actually laughed out loud.



Chevy Cruze. Awwwwwwwwww...



Loved the above but I have 2 favourites:

1) Bing. Actually burst out laughing.



2) And NFL, this was sooooo goooooooood: Seinfeld, 90210, Happy days, Family Guy, Sopranos, The Office, Dukes of Hazard, Friends, South Park, Erkel, Modern Family, Simpsons... etc. Just watch.



Mmmmmmmmmm.....Football cake!! We loved it EBM!


Thank god football is over. At least for a little while :)

Hello college bball.

Hollyweird Part Deux

2 hours. No host. Only the most interesting awards (to the layman). Pretty darn good recipe for success. The winners are getting predictable but I guess that's expected. The actors like this award best as it's their colleagues voting for them. I get it.

Was the star power as amazing as the Globes? No.
Was the show enjoyable? Yes.
Did Modern Family win for best ensemble? Yes.

Everything is ok in the world.

Now to the fashion. It seems as though this lil blog of mine has made it's way to the ears of Hollywood y'all. They read, they marinated, they did something about it. I suppose they were all just a wee bit embarrassed that I was so appalled by mostly everything I saw at the Globes. Must be the reason why it was so much improved. Must be. Can't think of another possible explanation.

Some got the memo, and some didn't. Oh well, if you're a movie star, you still have one more chance.

Claire- Don't love the hanging belt, but I really kind of dig the dress. It’s a bit like wallpaper and yeah, it’d make a great duvet cover, but it's a B+.


Besides the dress being horrendous- can someone please explain to me why t+a is there??? Why?? Why!??


Meanwhile, these lovely ladies looked great! All 3! See, not that hard is it?? They haven't been in the limelight for a while, recognize an important opportunity when they see one and bam! Great work ladies. Welcome back! Betty White's acceptance speech- hilarious! Anyone watch that show?

She's hilarious!!!!!!!



Happy the next award show is for movies only. My eyes threw up when they saw this one.


Loved Lea's dress and hair. Age appropriate. Doesn't look like she's trying too hard. Deep sigh. Good work Lea.


She might be one of my favourite faces. Ever (loving and being obsessed with Mad Men helps). Look at this face. She's really so incredibly stunning. And naturally. She needs BFA (bad fashion anonymous). Badly. Imagine the help she could get.


Hello my name is January and I have a problem. I like to NOT look my best. Even her hairdo is veerd (below). Her Globes head looked better than her SAG head. I am personally insulted for her face. Why??????? Why does she do this????

Epic fail #1. At first glance I thought this was a statue outside of 1116 Ocean Drive, Miami.


Let's do a little JJ history. Shall we?

Epic fail #2.

Epic fail #3.

2 good ones:

Emmy's 2009. Love.


Emmy's 2010. Not a huge fan of short long combo, but it's a good color and very cool texture. Click on pic to see it closer up. (If I want to be really picky it looks like prior to the show, she was grocery shopping, went home, threw on the dress and left the house. Or had sex in the limo on the way over. What's with the hair? I like it attached to a different outfit.)


In conclusion, I feel as though she needs help. What a pity to waste a face like that.

Glad Natalie heard me. Good to know someone's listening. This is a gazillion times better than GG's atrocity, her face looks great, hair a bit veerd, dress doesn't fit super well, but I'll ease up on her. She pulled it together.


It's ok swan bride. Breathe in, breathe out. It'll all be over soon and we promise you won't have to leave the house again for a while, especially when wearing princess bride gowns like this one. But we gotta give Winona some credit—at least she was smart enough to complete the look with the perfect accessory for any out-of-place wedding dress: a pair of crazy eyes.

Wowee Noni. Wow fricken weeeeeee.


Mila- incredible. Bravo! You rocked this Alexander McQueen number. A+++


Hmmmmm, maybe if she was SJP we wouldn't mind so much? Oh, but you're not SJP. You apparently are a flamingo. I mean, do you think she regrets this yet?? How could she not?? Is this Say Yes To The- pink birds of a feather flock together- Dress?? She actually tweeted that morning that she was so excited, it felt like her wedding day. No shit. Thass a lot of bird references in one paragraph. Oych.


There are others. But I'm tired.

The Social Network

Ahhhhh Facebook. I joined you when I was single and you led me to my soulmate. Would we have connected otherwise? Maybe. (soulmate says yes) Did you make it exceptionally easy? Yes, yes you did. So in effect, thank you Mark Zuckerberg for my happiness. How weird is that?


I hope by now you've all seen the Facebook movie. If you haven't, you should. Not that it's all factual and true, historical fiction if you will. But it is good. Great writing and incredible delivery of such lines. The opening scene between 'Mark' and the girl who's about to break up with him took 72 takes. Now that was some fast smart talking. Prolly understood 43% of it.



Erica Albright: You are probably going to be a very successful computer person. But you're going to go through life thinking that girls don't like you because you're a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won't be true. It'll be because you're an asshole.

A little while back, in what could be described as a dream like state, I had this incredible moment of FB clarity. In what felt like a millisecond, I was able to break down the psychology, if you will, about Facebook and the people who 'use' it.

First watch this. It's funny.



Disclaimer: I do predict that this non professional psychological breakdown will be nowhere close to how riveting i thought it was at the time that i came to all these incredible conclusions.

Here goes:

There are the people who have an account but don't really care and rarely check it. YOU people will have 3-4 birthday posts. You get what you give. (unless you have REALLY nice and caring FB friends).

There are the FB ghosts/voyeurs. You're there but we never see you or hear from you and your profile picture has been the same since you joined. But you are always on. Always looking at people's pictures and conversations. You are the creepy Facebook people. And I think you are very selfish. You take and take and never give anything- not an awkward status, not a picture of your dog. Nothing. And we forget about you creeping which makes it even more creepy.

There are people who are mildly active. Maybe a status update here and there, maybe a comment on a picture. You're ok by me.


Then there are the VERY active people who are VERY UNfunny with their lame-o status updates or who post things allllll the time that you never care about. The people who put constant updates about their kids not sleeping or not peeing in the right place fall into this category as well. People- this is Facebook. Not complain about my life- book. If you want compassion, join an online forum and complain your heads off. You're very depressing and I don't think FB is the appropriate platform for you.

There are the people who have conversations with their friends (like actual real friends not fb friends. VERY different) galore on their walls. The same people make plans on their walls. And the people they're 'talking' to are people they could text, bbm, email or god forbid call in order to make the plan. I'll admit sometimes I'm guilty of this one. I don't have a huge problem with THAT person, just think it's curious.

In the same category- couples who make plans on each other's walls:

'Are you coming home after work?'
'Yes, see you at 5:30.'

'Sweetie, can you turn the light off in the kitchen?'
'Sure.'

Weird.

I suppose there are different reasons to use FB. Showing people who you're friends with and what you're doing with your life is high on the list. When someone puts up an album of a trip they recently took, with 207 pictures in it, they want you to look at what they've been up to. And when you see that person and you say something about their latest trip to Costa Rica and how gorgeous the resort was, please don't act all pretend embarrassed. YOU PUT UP THE PICS FOR PEOPLE TO SEE. And likely a solo bikini shot was in there too. Oych. The lack of self awareness killls me.
There are the people who use it for promoting their companies or blogs. I think they're ok. :) The bombardment can be a bit much. But luckily you can hide those people from your news feed if you so desire.

FB birthday love is amazing. It's like you've time warped back to elementary school and everyone knows it's your bday and everyone wishes you well. Sweeeeeet.


There is another very peculiar FB type situation has happened to me and I hope to others. There are some people who I'm very close with on FB. We write on each other's walls and we are very complimentary towards each other. But we've never met. Never spoken one word in person face to face. How odd is that? And not someone I knew from elementary school. I even once ran into my super close FB friend and kinda hid because I thought our first face to face would be awkward. Peering over my shoulder one evening and looking at my fb wall, my man once asked me- hey, how do you know Daniel Murphy (not his real name)? Yeahhhhhhhhhh, how do i possibly explain THAT one?!?!?!?

There are the people who have babies and post pictures of themselves miliseconds after giving birth and I think to myself: self, would i want pictures uploaded to Facebook with my glasses on, obviously no make up, hair in a high pony with some kind of stretchy hair band thing, sweaty cuz i just pushed a baby out of my hooch put onto Facebook for my 500+ 'friends' to see- NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And if the new mother doesn't post the pics and the new father does- just as bad cuz the mom knows and for some CRAZY REASON IS OK WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!! (You know she knows, because the pics are never taken down).

Deeeeeeep breath. Feel better now.

There are the people that are funny and don't abuse the system. Like when they get an inspiration to write a status update, it travels through a filtering process and then either dies or makes it. And often it's a good one.


The 'check-in' feature is interesting. If you're deranged and want to stalk someone, then it's grrrrreat. I use it to promote places I love. But I can see how it could be a bit creepy.

Fb gives you the chance to put yourself out there. Whomever you choose to be. I hope we all know that most of it is smoke and mirrors. We know you're not THAT happy. I mean, come on. But it is in your own control to put out there what you want. And then the people will judge you. It's quite simple really. So if someone judges you to be a party animal it's likely because you've put up multiple albums of yourself and your friends boozing it up! And if people are dumb enough to think that's what you do 24/7, then there's really no hope for them, is there.

Peace owwwwwwwt.