Thursday, December 30, 2010

Awkward!!!!!

So, weather's been crap in Florida. Not actually complaining because I guess 66 degrees and cloudy is better than -10 and snowy, but it's all relative. Shopping in a hell called Aventura ain't for me. I watched an interesting 60 Minutes the other night. Something about these brazzziliant paleontologists discovering tissue in dinosaur bones that are billions of years old that could possibly lead to the reintroduction of a dinosaur type creature in the future. Calling it a Dino-chicken.

Another very interesting story caught my eye too. It was about 2 Jews who created a website called www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com. People send them their most awkward family pics and they post them. That's all. Simple. But, hilarious and awkward. I mean you just can't even begin to wrap your head around how/why some of these pictures even happened.

Here we go:

We can start with this one- hockey gear, bra, preggo... totally normal pic. Superb idea professional photog. Black and white adds such a classy touch.


They REEEAAAALLLYYY wanted the entire family in this one.


I was potty trained this way, u?


Nothing says Merry Xmas like matching pajamas and a topless man (presumably the dad) in your pic! I really can't begin to understand this one. Praying it was a joke. If so, good one.


No words really for this one. But definitely NOT a joke. You can just tell. Far left guy is my personal fave. Hands on knees guy is pretty good too. Did the store run out of mini pumpkins? Even the dog has to look away.


Who can guess this mother's favourite skater?


Some people just really love their dogs! Possibly a bit too much.


Maybe a candy apple would have been more appropriate for this family vacation shot.


Again having trouble finding words. At least they're in love.


And then obviously we have NKOTB attempting to feed this little girl. Guess she's a picky eater. Props to her parents for pulling out ALLLLL the stops to get her to eat.


Now this pic is funny because once the eisel collapsed, one parent ran to get the camera while the other waited. See dad's arm in far left of pic.


Saved my fave for last. Look carefully. THAT is funny.


Hope that last one doesn't give you nightmares! Hope all the clouds in the sky die and go to hell!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Bees Knees

Where did that expression even come from? Do bees even have knees? I don’t think so.


Knees. So weird looking. Non? Well I think they are and I keep mine under wraps most of the time.


Today I bought a pair of shorts. I feel like that news is worthy of a CNN Breaking News alert. Although, I’d be the only one totally shocked by it. And I’m the one who did the purchasing.


Literally cannot remember the last time I bought shorts. And it’s been so long that through multiple moves and homes and years, I don’t even own any. NONE PEOPLE. Not even a weird little too small pair that I keep because I might maybe possibly wear them one day. I have shoes, jeans, skirts, boots, tops and all other wardrobe items that I keep because I’m sure one day I’ll be needing it. Maybe to wear or for a costume. Seriously. But no shorts. (Wait- is that hoarding? Oh o. It's just that I know I’ll wear those pink wood platform shoes I got in grade 10 one day! I know it!)


So obviously, I can’t remember the last time I even wore shorts. I picture all my friends reading this going “No, I remember… that time… wait a second, it was a skirt, or lulus or sweats, not shorts!” And that’s correct. Always something else- a dress, skirt, a sweat pant item. And you might be thinking- 'What's the difference between a skirt and shorts!? This girl is nuts!' And my answer is that MAYBE YOU ARE RIGHT! Can't explain the difference. There just is one.


And, I do spend time outside people! I was a camp director for pete’s sake!


Sitting in shorts. Yech. You either stick to the chair or can’t cross your legs cuz then your whole thigh is exposed and that might not be pretty! You know what I mean.


Just don’t like em. Don’t like knees. Not YOUR knees. Yours are ok. Most knees actually look quite similar I think. I don’t like looking at my legs in shorts. That’s my thing. Not your thing and THAT is why I bought shorts today!


Although, I do wear skirts and dresses that come to above my knees. So it seems that shorts above the knee are not ok but dresses and skirts are? I know, I'm confused too.


Ironic that I happen to be covering my knees in this pic.


Are her knees nice? SHE'S HEIDI KLUM!!! OF COURSE THEY ARE!!!!



The shorts I bought are Lululemon. They’re cute and colorful. I bought them 2 sizes too big and they have underwear in them. Hey, I’m out of practice ok. Gimme a break. I think they’re ‘running’ shorts. But I liked them enough to buy them. And they kinda look like a skirt because they’re too big. Baby steps.


The above is not me. Unfortunately. Those are gorgeous knees.


And it's not that there's anything wrong with my knees. They're average. No scars, nothing gross.


EVERYONE wears shorts! That’s normal! So I am going to try hard with my snazzy new shorts to be like you! I’m sure I’ll blend right in. I’d think that 9/10 people around me will be in shorts. So I won’t stand out. But I won’t really like it. And I will be uncomfortable. And I’ll be thinking about when I can get my stems into a pair of leggings.


But I’ll know. I’ll know I’m doing something crazy. For me.


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CNN Breaking News

-Liana purchased shorts today. First time in over a decade. She will wear them in Florida, a senior administration official confirms.

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