Joe's

Just hearing the name gets my salivary glands going. If you don't visit south Florida, it's possible you've never been. Yes, there's one in Vegas, and Chicago, but not really, and you south Florida Joe's go-ers know what I mean.



December at Joe's is something special. For maniacs really. Or serious foodies. For people who know, the wait is RIDICULOUS, but they go anyway. Since 1913, I can imagine it's become a family tradition for many many families. It certainly has for this one. A trip down south just isn't complete without going. So families go. And wait. And wait. And wait. If you haven't been, I suppose you're wondering if it's worth it. IT IS.

You should know that I am a very strong proponent of never waiting in line for food. Waiting to give someone your money? Insane. Waiting at Beautys pains me. I won't do it often. "5 minutes, everyone's welcome", says Hymie. Welcome maybe, 5 minutes, bullshit. But for some reason, people do it at Joe's. For us, it's likely the only restaurant we'd wait, longer than half an hour, to be seated.

Now a few years ago, something incredible happened at Joe's. Eddie, the master host, wearing a tux, a deep tan and a serious pinky ring, surprisingly responded to my FMIL (future mother in law) as 'babe' and 'Rho', a nickname mostly used by close friends and family. As she indicated we were 8 people, he said, "No problem Rho, your table will be ready soon". And lo and behold, within 20 minutes we sat down. This my friends was divine intervention. He thought he knew her. Or did he from the family's years of commitment to Joe's? Who knows and who cares. And would it work again? Yes it would. And again and again.

The 2010 Joe's visit began as usual. Lovely drive to South Beach, the excitement building as to the awesomeness that would soon be in our mouths. We pull up and as usual, there are about, no joke, 300 ish people waiting to be seated. Valet telling all it's about a 3 hour wait. 3 hours!!!!! And people wait!!!!! But we have a little secret don't we.

Rho goes to see Eddie. We go to the bar, almost euphoric imagining the stone crabs, chopped salad and ridiculous sides we are about to ingest.

Rho returns. Took her 5 minutes to get through all the people to even get to Eddie. She breaks the news, "Guys, the Virginia Tech football team is here. Might be a while. Eddie feels terrible but he'll see what he can do." Oooooof. We all felt like we got punched in the stomach.

We go to the waiting area/bar. Another ingenious part of this money making establishment. What else are you going to do while you wait? Thass right. Drink and have some apps! So we did.

Beginning of wait... still happy....and buzzed...



The table next to us in this waiting zone (see below), at this point, had been there since 6:30. It was 9:00.


I know many of you are thinking that people must be totally insane to wait so long for food. And I would agree. But, you know what you're in for at Joe's at least. I'd never be in for a 3 and a half hour wait anywhere. But then it turns into: well we've been here for an hour and a half, we can't leave now, maybe they'll call our name next... Patience leads to denial which obviously leads to extreme and violent hunger. The drinks, crabcakes and shrimp cocktail help ease the pain.

Desperation sets in. (It's only been 25 minutes). Hashem can you hear me? Please call our name next! Please!


So the pre-meal bill isn't small and I'm praying that we don't get called before this table of 8 who have been waiting for 3 hours now. Just wouldn't be right.

I wish I could say that we as a family are superhuman, or that the love Eddie has for Rho is out of this world and that we sat relatively quickly as we usually do. Alas, I cannot. But, we did not wait 3 hours, and the drinks and apps certainly helped pass the time. And that family did get called before us (baruch hashem). When they heard their name, the entire room erupted in cheers. Seriously. Standing O even. Then they called us. Wait time 2010: 1 hour 15 mins. Not bad. It's ok to feel 'normal' once in a while.

Chopped salad- honey roasted peanuts, olives, feta, diced vegetables, chopped egg, Joe's dressing.


Famous wedge- tomato, bacon, red onion, beets, croutons, egg, blue cheese dressing.


Les stone crabs-


Le BBQ chicken ($5.95 btw and best chicken this fella has EVER had)


And the nerdo shot-


Was it worth it? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! As usual. See ya next year! Or maybe just one more time while we're down here this time. Eddie has some making up to do.

PS- Still haven't worn the shorts.